Good luck sleeping soundly after seeing this!
My friend purrrentice (check out her blog, it’s highly entertaining) suggested I do a ten worst video game characters to go with my top ten lists. Thinking it a good idea, I started to think about what characters I would put on the list. Unfortunately this then turned into a struggle as to which criteria to stick to. All-time or more contemporary? Protagonists and playable characters only? Simply most annoying? Or just the Jar Jar Binks’s of the video game world: characters that are so grating and personally offensive that every time they talk you scream at them to shut up and die.
The problems I kept running into were two-fold. The first was that a lot of these lists have already been done before. I mean, sure, I could have gone with annoying characters like Slippy Toad from Starfox (no, I have better things to do than to keep shooting enemies off your tail), Navi from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (“Hey! Listen!”) or even that damn infuriating hunting dog from Duck Hunt that laughs at you every time you miss but that the game does not allow you to shoot even though you have a damn gun, but those have all been done a thousand times on other blogs.
The second problem is that my game palate is actually quite limited. There are a lot of games I don’t play, be it due to lack of time, funds or interest. I primarily play RPGs, so the characters I would choose from would be limited to those. Plus I tend to have a pretty good douchebag radar, so any game that looks like it has an asshat for a lead character is an instant pass for me (I’m looking at you, Gears of War). So coming up with a list of characters that I really hated was difficult. There were a few that I could not stand for my own reasons, but I learned to tolerate them or overlook them for the sake of the game, so it felt a bit vindictive to add them to the list. I never liked Cecil from Final Fantasy IV because he seemed kind of whiny and had everything handed to him on a silver platter throughout the course of the game, but he wasn’t a terrible character. There was Wakka from Final Fantasy X who was well-intentioned but racist as all hell. Vaan from Final Fantasy XII played no real role in the plot of the game, but he was not nearly as bad as I expected him to be. Seymour from Final Fantasy X was just a pedophile-looking creepy dude who refused to die, but as a primary antagonist, we were meant to dislike him. Raiden from Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty was a bit of a pansy, but skill-wise he was actually quite cool to play as, so it makes it difficult to really complain too much about him.
That being said though, there has always been one character in particular that was so grating, so annoying, so overwhelmingly obnoxious and so horrifically bad that I just could not tolerate him for even a second throughout the course of the game. So instead of doing a bottom ten list, I simply decided to make this post entirely about the worst video game character ever conceived in the history of video games, while also providing clear cut examples to explain my reasoning.
So behold, I give you the worst video game character ever: Tidus from Final Fantasy X.